


Godless and Free

by iwastetimechasingcars



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, M/M, kind of a song fic, kind of meshed better than i thought, kind of something i threw together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 18:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5676172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwastetimechasingcars/pseuds/iwastetimechasingcars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He moves with shameless wonder,<br/>The perfect creature rarely seen,<br/>Since some liar brought the thunder, <br/>When the land was godless and free.<br/>--<br/>I've no language left to sing,<br/>All I do is crave him, <br/>Breaking if I try to convey it,<br/>The broken love I make to him.</p>
<p>Based off of Hozier's "Foreigner's God"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Godless and Free

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ITalkTooFast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ITalkTooFast/gifts).



> I believed I managed to string up enough of the perfect words in the perfect order to relay the idea I wanted. 
> 
> Based off of Hozier's "Foreigner's God"
> 
> I believe it would add to the experience if you listen as you read.

Tony Stark didn’t believe in a god.

 

He believed in causes and effects of everything ever done. He believed in the flux and flow relationship between him and everything around him. He believed in the constants and everything that was within reason.

 

Tony lived a life of anticipated algorithms and formulas that were hand-in-hand with predictability. Not predictable in the way that his life was routine. Not predictable in the way that Tony didn’t believe in chance encounters or coincidences. Not predictable in the way that there were right atoms at the right times in the right combinations. Not predictable in the way that Tony’s counting card abilities gave him the upper hand when he was in Vegas. But predictable in a way _that made sense._

 

In prototypes and chemical reactions, Tony knew that whatever happened, he reaped what he had sown.

 

In a life where Tony Stark trusted science and the laws of energy, he didn’t need to believe in a god.

 

He never doubted this ideology. Not believing in any god wasn’t background noise in his mind. It was just that. He was neither agnostic nor atheist, because in his mind, there wasn’t any god that could make him so preoccupied he would need to use a label. There wasn’t a god that could ever be worth the worry.

 

In these prototypes and chemical reactions, his concern was his own advancement.

 

And then he doubted himself while watching the long strides of a well-dressed blonde.

 

In a life where Tony Stark did not believe in chances encounters or coincidences, he felt that looking up from his worktable to see Steve Rogers walking by was chance.

 

Tony had grown a tolerance to surprises the same way an addict would to their drug. He wasn’t ever surprised; he was prepared.

Steve walked as if the world was his own. As if he had crafted it precisely and delicately between his two calloused hands and whenever he spoke with someone, his face would light up as if to say _look at this beautiful world I’ve made, and you’re in it too._

 

At least that’s how Tony saw it when Steve first spoke with him. It was a mix of shy smiles and awkward small talk that ended with the promise of coffee and later became kisses on the inside of Tony’s sensitive thighs and long scratches trailing down Steve’s back and hushed moans and rushed breathing and then the emptiness of Tony’s bed.

 

_All for good reason_ , Tony would tell himself, _He’s like the good Samaritan._

 

Tony felt it in the nights he and Steve would lay in bed together. The Italian couldn’t comfort him in his embrace together; Steve was his own body with his own troubles that Tony couldn’t yet fix. In the mornings, when Tony would wake up grasping for the tangle of bed sheets on the other side, Steve left him with disappointment and memories that stained Tony’s mind the way lipstick does to coffee cups.  

 

It was never awkward; always a warm smile when they passed each other in the workplace. He was a soul dense with emotion and caring in a body that seemed to be too experienced for this humanity.

 

But Tony didn’t know how to react with Steve. He was the one variable that Tony couldn’t anticipate and work around when it was a relationship that demanded a work with. It was an exciting feeling for Tony but one that made him feel disconnected to his body after intimate moments and left him feeling both whole and empty.

 

Steve was a small infinity in Tony’s mind, one where he was creating even smaller infinities within his life. This included the empty infinity that Steve left Tony feeling night after night of broken promises and empty affection.

 

Tony Stark didn’t believe in a god.

  
But he believed in Steve.


End file.
